A Sure Shot
by TheTiltedHat
Summary: Ringo sets his lusting eyes on a pretty little feline, but isn't quite prepared to handle her tenacity.


It was like any other day on the Halcyon Fold. Minions clashed against turrets, heroes from all walks of the world fought with one another, and the merchants made plenty of gold selling their highly revered items.

But today one hero in particular was feeling more ambitious than usual. Ringo was a simple man with simple needs but sometimes he yearned for something more in life. Not love necessarily, just sweet, sexual affection.

On a day like this Ringo wanted nothing but drunken careless lovemaking, and he saw what he thought was the perfect opportunity to get some. On a regular trip down to the jungle shop after gunning down another hoard of fearless minions, Ringo set his eye on his teammate for the day. A playful girl with enough spunk to match the spikes she wore on her arms. Koshka was especially eye catching for Ringo simply because of how little she wore, daring to run around the Fold in nothing but a skimpy top that barely covered her body and a pair of tight pink panties that hugged her hips in just the right way.

Ringo slid up alongside her coolly while she was just picking up a few things from the jungle shop. Casually leaning against a nearby rock, the gunslinger set to work attempting to court the woman of his desire.

"Heeey Kitty, you having fun today? 'Cause I was wondering if maybe you might want to have a little playtime after this match, eh?"

Koshka, with an ever present grin set on her smooth cheeks, glanced at Ringo with an amused look on her face.

"Playtime? With someone like you? Puh-lease, as if you could keep up with someone as fast as me! I mean, you can hardly keep your balance!"

But Ringo was not distressed by this, in fact, he was reinvigorated. He always loved doubling down and this looked like a worthy challenge.

"Come on sweet cheeks, don't play hard to get. I could keep up with you all day. I'm faster than I look and I've been told I'm pretty good with my hands". The drunken fool adds a little flourish of his gun for good measure, leaning in a little closer to the girl.

"Well," said Koshka in a lower voice, hinted with mischievous intent, "I don't think you've ever played with a cat before, but you should know that I can be quite," she takes a breath, " _ferocious_ ".

It's at this moment that Ringo is caught in a moment of pure exhilaration. Fear and a perverse sense of wanting both flow through his body in equal amounts. It's do or die. One shot only. He takes a calm breath and a swig from his gourd to steady himself and goes in for the killing blow.

"Don't worry, I've handled plenty of women in my time, I think I know my way around a soft skinned beauty such as yourself" with this, the sharpshooter slides his one and only arm along the smooth back of the saucy animal. Her skin has just the slightest layer of sweat from the sun's heat and the exercise of running through the jungle bushes and trees. She nuzzles up into his neck and stares longingly at the hand resting on her shoulder before whispering softly into his ear.

"I've always wanted someone to pet me."

Ringo's mind is racing. There are fireworks shooting off in his head. He's 20 feet off the ground at this point and it seems like this feisty creature under his arm might be even more ambitious than him. At the same time however, he almost dreads the amount of intent and meaning behind each of her words. Every syllable betraying a sense of hunger that this nervous, sweaty man understands all too well.

He freezes. He's stuck, caught in a moment that he's too afraid to leave and too anxious to continue. He starts to regret trying his advances on someone he knew was so wild. With an outfit like that it only makes sense that she would be victim to certain urges much like himself. He's distracted from the wild disarray of thoughts bouncing around his skull by the sound of metal claws clicking against his gourd. Swing back and forth, back and forth like a pendulum. She grabs it finally, removing the cork and taking a small sip before immediately sputtering and coughing as the hot, burning sensation of the alcohol slams full force into the back of her throat, causing her to stumble and cough violently, nearly dropping the fiery brew into the dirt. There is a rustle in the leaves before a small chipmunk creature riding an abomination of a flower comes rolling in with a small army of wicked walking plants in tow.

"I heard someone get hurt, what's going on? I really don't want to get violent."

Koshka looks over at the little Meeko known as Petal and laughs wholeheartedly before answering

"I was talking with the funny man about simple Kitty cat things. No need to worry my cute little flower" with all the energy of a pouncing tiger she swoops in and lifts the green little imp up into the air before planting a soft kiss on her delicate button nose and hugging the small body to her chest.

Ringo is stunned and silenced at this point. There's nothing he can do or say, so he stands there, swaying drunkenly from side to side, threatening to fall at any moment.

"Well, it's better than a bright cheerful day to know that my radiant ball of sunshine is doing just peachy!" Petal exclaimed vibrantly. "I hope you don't mind me asking if you could Protect our lane while I shop do you?"

"Oh, not at all! I've been meaning to stretch my legs" And as Koshka sets off she throws a coy little wink over her shoulder at Ringo before slipping away through the brush and leaves.

"Hey, you, c'mere" His attention is being pulled down toward the little gremlin riding the oversized flower. "Yeah you, ya silly doof, come here for a moment"

Ringo bends down to lend his ear to the happy little critter, but immediately regrets it as he feels a pair of sharp claws lightly digging into his neck, pulling him down to her level.

"Don't you lay a god damn finger on my kitten you fucking pervert. Go stick your hand down some other lady's pants you filthy cripple, because she's mine. You understand me you cretin?"

Ringo scans her. Her composure is calm, ears perky, spine straight, cheeks glowing and her lips turned up in a smile. But her eyes, her eyes betrayed something so much more sinister that he could barely manage to breath. She let go of his neck and he fell backwards. He sat there watching as she slunk away on her plant mount and he sat in silence.

The Halcyon Fold attracted the craziest ladies, and Ringo drank to that.


End file.
